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Category: Tourism & Travel
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Follow Kevin Turner, also known as ‘The Hapless Biker’, and his great Russian motorcycle adventure as he sets off with nothing more than an 11-year-old Ninja 636, Michelin Pilot Road 3 tyres and the challenge of reaching Moscow on two wheels…
 Last August I embarked on a 6,000 mile motorcycle adventure, from London, up through Norway and across Finland to Moscow. I gave myself three weeks to squeeze in a trip that should rightly have taken three months (or rather, my employer gave me three weeks…)
Still, over those 21 days, I experienced some of the most wonderful moments of my motorcycling life, and also some of the worst. I rode along the extraordinary Trollstigen pass in Norway and felt my heart skip a beat as I looked down on the majestic Geirangerfjord; I experienced first-hand the beauty of St Petersburg and felt the presence of so much history in the Russian capital. And I also came very close to a horrible, mangled death beneath the wheels of 1,000 enormous trucks as I bounced across the loose rock and rubble which constitute so many of Russia’s roads.
The journey represented the culmination of ten years of riding: it was a challenge set for no good reason; a mountain to climb simply because it was there. Throughout, my only companion was my bike, an 11-year-old Ninja 636; stock, except for the after-market exhaust, a tinted screen and a few too many stickers.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s nigh-on impossible to pinpoint a single highlight from a trip packed full of discovery and surprise, but my time spent riding through Norway was very special. The beauty, the silence, the isolation felt like one long soul-cleansing experience after so many frantic rush-hour battles across London.
As a counterpoint, the brutal reality of the Russian roads could not have been more striking. For 13 terrifying hours I weaved my way through a never-ending convoy of tankers and juggernauts as I rode first towards St Petersburg and then onwards again to Moscow.
It seemed unimaginable at the time that the journey from the border to St Petersburg would not represent the very worst that Russia could throw at me. It was dreadful in a way I was completely unprepared for. The M10 was a road without embellishment; a patchwork mess of crumbling tarmac, potholes, trenches and gravel, its surface pounded into parody by the relentless motion of heavy traffic. At its edges, among the detritus, stood a ramshackle collection of sad-looking people, selling trinkets and bits of fruit. A broken line of hopeless faces dotted along the highway, like desperate refugees that had stumbled from the trees, hoping ‘the road’ would bring salvation. But it didn’t; not to them and not to me, nor anyone else stupid enough to try and ride a sports bike along its decomposing surface. *
At such times it’s very easy to forget that the angst, the fear and the desperation are all part and parcel of a journey that felt at times like a very real metaphor. But the lows were almost always followed quickly by towering highs, as was the case when I finally staggered off the Kawasaki late at night in central Moscow and felt myself overcome by a wave of jubilation upon reaching my goal.
If the ride was tough for me, it was ten times worse for my bike. The Ninja is a sports-tourer, but it is not an adventure bike. It was not designed to ride across hundreds of miles of rubble, lugging two heavy panniers, a tent and a hapless biker way out of his depth. I lost count of the times I felt sure the poor machine was about to grind to a halt, its chain and sprockets thick with congealing mud and its suspension hammered beyond belief. But it just kept going.
As did the tyres, a set of new Pilot Road 3s that I’d had fitted a week or so before I left. I had read that the Pilot 3s were very good in both wet and dry conditions, and in truth that’s all I expected they would have to contend with. I had not anticipated so many miles of lunar-like surface, so many huge pot-holes and loose gravel tracks. I could have forgiven them for expiring at any time, especially on the return leg. But like the Kawasaki, they not only survived, they excelled.
As I write this, the Ninja is parked outside my house, clean and polished and fully recovered from the adventure. In fact, it’s just returned from a rather wet track day at Donington Park, followed by a weekend’s touring in Wales. It’s still wearing those same Pilot Road 3s that I left for Russia on nine months ago, and barring errant nails and broken glass I suspect those tyres will remain wrapped around the stone-chipped wheels all summer long. Hopefully that will include a few more adventures, though perhaps none quite as epic as my Russian marathon.
 Kevin’s Russian adventure features in his new book: From Crystal Palace to Red Square - A Hapless Biker’s Road to Russia, published by Veloce Publishing and available from Amazon and all good bookshops. More information on Kevin’s books can be found at www.haplessbiker.com
* Extract From Crystal Palace to Red Square - A Hapless Biker’s Road to Russia
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There’s nothing quite like biking; extreme speed, magnified by one’s exposure to the elements, all whilst the aggressive and bullish throng of the engine plays beneath you; it’s quite hard to beat! In fact, the only thing that could possibly improve the experience is the location at which one wishes to barrel down. Dramatic mountains; winding, sun beaten coastal roads; and calm and scenic countryside all have their respective draws- here’s the best five biking locations we could think of.
Tuscany
Smooth, meandering roads, dotted with cypress trees and flanked by sunset-beckoning rolling hills are what a traveller coated in leathers can expect from this quintessential Italian region. Areas such as Siena and Volterra boast roads that are very lightly travelled, and small, picturesque hamlets along the drive where one can park up and relax for an hour before opening up the accelerator once again. Bliss.
Rhône-Alpes
Tucked away in the south-east of France is the Rhône-Alpes region, blessed with mountains, vineyards, valleys and olive groves. Hidden in this region is the D24 road, a decidedly rural and lesser-travelled track blessed with staggering sites and hundreds of corners, just waiting for a pair of wheels to go screaming down it.
 The Death Valley Run
Bone dry land and azure skies await those who wish to complete the Death Valley Run in Nevada, USA. Though extremely desolate, thanks mainly to the exceptional heat and waterlessness of the desert, Death Valley is utterly awe inspiring primarily due to the fact it looks so incredibly alien and unlike the majority of the earth’s various environs. If that hasn’t peaked your interest there’s also always Las Vegas nearby; head over to online casino UK to train yourself up before your big trip to Sin City!
Transfagarasan Highway
Built decades ago as a military supply road, the Transfagarasan Highway, Romania, is one of the best known and most loved roads in Europe. Stretching along one of the most dramatic and altitudinous areas of the Southern Carpathian Mountains, the 2034 metre high road is one of the most winding, wonderful and well maintained mountain routes in Europe.
 The Cat & Fiddle Run
Running between Macclesfield and Buxton, UK, the Cat & Fiddle Run is frequently classified as one of the most dangerous roads in Britain. Meandering through the Peak District National Park, the route is perfect for bikers thanks to its many sharp turns and wonderful moorland scenery.
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I read somewhere that life on two wheels finds you free from walls and windows, which creates a vulnerability that breeds excitement.
 Fortunately, this has become true for us – I'm Lisa Morris and my partner is Jason Spafford, a pair of wanderlust seekers from Nottingham. We've sold our house in order to finance a once in a lifetime trip through the Americas. We’ve scuba dived the globe over the last fourteen years together, by-products of which can be seen through our photography, videography and travel writing. It feels good to diversify, integrating our passions into something fresh. Riding from Argentina to Alaska for 12-18 months will be full of flavour to bite into.
As we're now homeless, without off-spring and free from the 9-5 job, what better time to embrace some life-changing adventure!
We want to see as many countries by means of the scenic routes off road, trying our best to avoid the highways. We’ve no idea when we’ll get to Alaska or what we’ll do when we arrive; I only know that the world is open and calling!
Follow their journey at www.twowheelednomad.com
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The Expedition hit a major snag last week when the only border between Georgia and Russia was closed due to a major landslide which killed 8 truck drivers from the region. What this meant for our expeditioners who arrived later was that they had a few options. They could:
1.Try and find another way around through Azerbaijan or through Abkhazia
2.Return back to the Black Sea and hope they could find a boat running across to Russia
3.Return all the way back to Europe and then travel up through to Lithuania and Latvia adding weeks onto the trip and costing a huge amount.
In the end they decided on the third option as the visas would not be possible for the first two countries and no ferries were running across the Black Sea. However they just made it back into Turkey when they received confirmation that the border had reopened and they could return and cross from Georgia into Russia as originally planned.
Read the blog post from Mick McDonald of Compass Expeditions and see the photos from week 4 at the link below.
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One of my favourite routes is the Woodhead Pass (A628), which is not far from Manchester and crosses the Pennine chain of hills through a wood cladded road within the Peak District National Park and ultimately leading to South Yorkshire.
 The trick here is to get up early to experience the awesome scenery, atmosphere and lovely views at their best, with less traffic and to avoid the snarl of traffic around Hollingworth and towards Glossop. At the end of the M67 motorway you take the A57 road towards Glossop.
At the crossroads I always smile as I pass the sign on the right to Broadbottom and then enjoy the ride down the hill with the backdrop of the Peak District National Park in the distant. Stay on the road for the A628, rather than take the right to Glossop and the Snake Pass (another popular road with Bikers) and keep an eye out for the signs to the village of Hadfield on the right; Hadfield is probably better known to people as Royston Vasey, the fictional town featured in the cult BBC dark comedy series 'The League of Gentlemen'.
One of the main reason I love this road is the many Reservoirs, which in the morning are so tranquil, flat and glass-like. There is a few mile stretch of Reservoirs, which are part of the Longdendale chain, starting with Bottoms, past the mammoth Torside, which the road crosses and ending at the Woodhead Reservoir. From here the road climbs to the summit at Salter's Brook Bridge with open countryside all around. Admittedly it is maybe not the best road for twists and turns, however I love it as it is not far from the city of Manchester and the scenery can be stunning!
 Whilst working at THE BIKER GUIDE®, some clients in Northumberland had mentioned that Bikers stay with them as they want to visit The Holy Island of Lindisfarne, with a varied history which dates from the 6th century, as an important centre of Celtic Christianity at the monastery and the place where it is said the Vikings first came to our shores. Accessible by a causeway at low-tide and cut off from the rest of the world by fast-moving tides twice-daily, I liked the idea of riding over a road chasing the tides and I wanted to visit… So a trip was planned, with a ride across the causeway as a must do!
We left our accommodation early as we had to cross and return before 11am, otherwise we would be there until the evening. Just off the main A1, you ride through country lanes until you reach the causeway and then it is a single lane road raised over the sand to the island for a most enjoyable three (ish) miles.
For our final top biking route in the UK, we asked our visitors to the website and we have the following; The Hardknott Pass in the Lake District, Bala to Trawsfynydd in Snowdonia, the Applecross Pass in The Highlands, the dark hedges at Armoy in County Antrim, the single track road that takes in the coast of the Isle of Mull and this… ‘Anywhere and everywhere so long as I am riding’.
When riding, our top safety tips are to read the roads all around you, presuming (I am sorry to say) that others have not seen you and that vehicle indicators are not always correct (!), make sure you are visible on the road, with your headlights on, wearing hi-viz gear, etc… and when riding take regular pit-stops to stay alert, refresh yourself and to enjoy the scenery, your surroundings and a have much needed cuppa.
Article by Sharon Rollisson-Slaughter, THE BIKER GUIDE®
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