Follow Kevin Turner, also known as ‘The Hapless Biker’, and his great Russian motorcycle adventure as he sets off with nothing more than an 11-year-old Ninja 636, Michelin Pilot Road 3 tyres and the challenge of reaching Moscow on two wheels…

Last August I embarked on a 6,000 mile motorcycle adventure, from London, up through Norway and across Finland to Moscow. I gave myself three weeks to squeeze in a trip that should rightly have taken three months (or rather, my employer gave me three weeks…)

Still, over those 21 days, I experienced some of the most wonderful moments of my motorcycling life, and also some of the worst. I rode along the extraordinary Trollstigen pass in Norway and felt my heart skip a beat as I looked down on the majestic Geirangerfjord; I experienced first-hand the beauty of St Petersburg and felt the presence of so much history in the Russian capital. And I also came very close to a horrible, mangled death beneath the wheels of 1,000 enormous trucks as I bounced across the loose rock and rubble which constitute so many of Russia’s roads.

The journey represented the culmination of ten years of riding: it was a challenge set for no good reason; a mountain to climb simply because it was there. Throughout, my only companion was my bike, an 11-year-old Ninja 636; stock, except for the after-market exhaust, a tinted screen and a few too many stickers.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s nigh-on impossible to pinpoint a single highlight from a trip packed full of discovery and surprise, but my time spent riding through Norway was very special. The beauty, the silence, the isolation felt like one long soul-cleansing experience after so many frantic rush-hour battles across London.

As a counterpoint, the brutal reality of the Russian roads could not have been more striking. For 13 terrifying hours I weaved my way through a never-ending convoy of tankers and juggernauts as I rode first towards St Petersburg and then onwards again to Moscow.

It seemed unimaginable at the time that the journey from the border to St Petersburg would not represent the very worst that Russia could throw at me. It was dreadful in a way I was completely unprepared for. The M10 was a road without embellishment; a patchwork mess of crumbling tarmac, potholes, trenches and gravel, its surface pounded into parody by the relentless motion of heavy traffic. At its edges, among the detritus, stood a ramshackle collection of sad-looking people, selling trinkets and bits of fruit. A broken line of hopeless faces dotted along the highway, like desperate refugees that had stumbled from the trees, hoping ‘the road’ would bring salvation. But it didn’t; not to them and not to me, nor anyone else stupid enough to try and ride a sports bike along its decomposing surface. *

At such times it’s very easy to forget that the angst, the fear and the desperation are all part and parcel of a journey that felt at times like a very real metaphor. But the lows were almost always followed quickly by towering highs, as was the case when I finally staggered off the Kawasaki late at night in central Moscow and felt myself overcome by a wave of jubilation upon reaching my goal.

If the ride was tough for me, it was ten times worse for my bike. The Ninja is a sports-tourer, but it is not an adventure bike. It was not designed to ride across hundreds of miles of rubble, lugging two heavy panniers, a tent and a hapless biker way out of his depth. I lost count of the times I felt sure the poor machine was about to grind to a halt, its chain and sprockets thick with congealing mud and its suspension hammered beyond belief. But it just kept going.

As did the tyres, a set of new Pilot Road 3s that I’d had fitted a week or so before I left. I had read that the Pilot 3s were very good in both wet and dry conditions, and in truth that’s all I expected they would have to contend with. I had not anticipated so many miles of lunar-like surface, so many huge pot-holes and loose gravel tracks. I could have forgiven them for expiring at any time, especially on the return leg. But like the Kawasaki, they not only survived, they excelled.

As I write this, the Ninja is parked outside my house, clean and polished and fully recovered from the adventure. In fact, it’s just returned from a rather wet track day at Donington Park, followed by a weekend’s touring in Wales. It’s still wearing those same Pilot Road 3s that I left for Russia on nine months ago, and barring errant nails and broken glass I suspect those tyres will remain wrapped around the stone-chipped wheels all summer long. Hopefully that will include a few more adventures, though perhaps none quite as epic as my Russian marathon.

Kevin’s Russian adventure features in his new book: From Crystal Palace to Red Square - A Hapless Biker’s Road to Russia, published by Veloce Publishing and available from Amazon and all good bookshops. More information on Kevin’s books can be found at www.haplessbiker.com

* Extract From Crystal Palace to Red Square - A Hapless Biker’s Road to Russia

... including "I get married to the love of my life soon and we are having a motorbike themed wedding.

I was wondering if you had anything spare that may help us decorate the room or the tables?"

Booklets, stickers and a BIKER WELCOME banner were sent.

Congratulations to Richard and Lisa Lumb!

Like the Bennetts 500cc Classic TT Race, the Okells Brewery 350cc Race is set to be a thrilling affair and it could well be even more closely contested with evenly matched machines and a stellar line up of riders offering the potential for a close race. The class, like all races at the 2014 Classic TT presented by Bennetts, was oversubscribed with a full grid of almost 90 entries eventually accepted.

With last year's race winner Chris Palmer absent from the field, a new winner will be garlanded but Roy Richardson on the FCL Racing/Bullock Motorsport Aermacchi, will be one of the favourites having won numerous 350cc Classic races at the Manx GP. The opposition is strong though with anyone in the top 20 more than competitive and capable of standing on the podium.

Honda lead the way in terms of numbers with Jamie Hamilton, Olie Linsdell (Flitwick Motorcycles), William Dunlop and Alan Oversby (both Davies Motorsport), Jamie Coward (Ted Woof), Chris McGahan (Hales Honda), James Hillier (CSC Racing), James Cowton and Nigel Moore all electing to ride the iconic Japanese marque.

The British challenge is more than considerable though with AJS and Norton having numerous potential race winners, none more so than last year's podium finishers Cameron Donald (Ripley Land Racing AJS) and Dan Cooper (Molnar Manx Norton). Cooper is joined in Andy Molnar's team by the man who dominated this years TT Races Michael Dunlop while another top TT runner, Keith Amor, will ine up on Tony Dunnell's rapid Manx Norton.

Italy has representation in the form of Dean Harrison and Lee Johnston (Black Eagle Racing MV Agusta), Chris Swallow (Mike Fawcett Aermacchi) and Doug Snow (Ducati Sebring) and all three will be pushing hard at the head of the field while other names expected to feature include Mark Herbertson (AJS), Alex Sinclair (Honda), Paul Coward (Honda), Dave Madsen-Mygdal (Honda), Ken Davis (Honda) and Chris Petty (Honda).

Although there isn't a separate race this year, there are still numerous 250cc machines spread through the field aiming to win the new Phil Read Trophy to recognise the class win, with multiple Manx Grand Prix race winner Bill Swallow back for another outing around the Mountain Course, this time on Phil Price's Velocette. The T20 Suzuki's will be expected to be the highest placed though particularly in the hands of Alan 'Bud' Jackson, Karl Fox, Tom Jackson, Jeff Ward, Maria Costello, Dan Sayle and Billy Cummins.

Dave Edwards (TD1C Yamaha) and Pete Symes and David Crussell (both Kawasaki) add further variety to the 250cc field.

The Vintage Motor Cycle Club are delighted to announce that next year will see The VMCCs Festival of 1000 Bikes returning to Mallory Park on the weekend of 11th/12th July 2015.

With the support in principal already flowing in from our partners Footman James Insurance Brokers, Bonhams Auctioneers, Mortons Motorcycle Media, The National Motorcycle Museum & ERIKS UK, the 2015 event will be another weekend to remember.

As in previous years the event gives enthusiasts the opportunity to ride their own machines in multiple track sessions over the weekend. On the Saturday of the event we cater for all classes of road machines from the earliest Veterans (discounted entry fee available for pre 1925 machines) through to machines of the superbike era which reflect the wide range of interests within the VMCC. With lesser noise restrictions Sunday is the day for riders to display their race machinery in special track sessions running throughout the day.

The VMCC festival of 1000 Bikes is unique in its sheer breadth & scale. This includes showcasing one of the best line ups of “Past Masters” and famous machines assembled during any given year. At previous VMCC festivals this has included many unique happenings such as “King Kenny” Roberts first UK Track appearance in 30 years at the 2011 event, Kevin Schwantz’s (in conjunction with Michelin) return to Mallory Park for the first time in a quarter of a century in 2012 and 1987 500cc GP World Champion Wayne Gardner (Courtesy of Michelin) headed up 2013s’ line up and took to the track on a genuine works Honda RS500. Announcements for 2015s’ line up due early in the New Year!

More details and features will be released over the coming months. However as the Track sessions for both road and race machines sold out early in previous years, entry forms will be distributed in the autumn to all previous entrants.

They will then become available later in the year (dates to be announced) via VMCC HQ direct or downloading from the dedicated event website @ www.vmcc.net/1000bikes

FREE test rides, incredible stunt displays, the latest machines and competitive racing are among the attractions visitors can enjoy at Scotland’s biggest and best motorcycle show in just a few weeks’ time.

The Carole Nash Great Scottish Bike Show takes place at Edinburgh’s Royal Highland Centre on the weekend of August 9-10, and topping the bill of live action is Yamaha’s Dark Side MT Tour, which sees the Japanese manufacturing giant offering an array of free activities.

Test ride opportunities will be available on models across the MT range, including the MT-09 Street Rally and the new MT-125, and there will also be a host of other riding experiences.

John Milbank, editor of Motor Cycle Monthly and MoreBikes.co.uk, said: “We were the first publication to test the new Street Rally, and we think it’s a fantastic and unique opportunity for riders to be given a chance to do the same.

“Yamaha has sold the MT range as ‘the dark side of Japan’ and I can tell you, this is more than just marketing babble – the MT-09 delivers on that ‘dark side’ promise.

“Make no mistake about it, these bikes are going to be popular. Those wanting to have a go should book their places now.”

A fleet of MT models will be available to test for those with a full motorcycle licence, while novices, A1 and A2 licence holders can sample the MT-125 and the 35kW version of the MT-07 on a specialist test course with instructors on hand to assist.

In addition to the unique test ride opportunity, the MT Tour events will include the incredible Dave Coates Stunt Show, ‘have-a-go’ activities including the MT-09 Extreme Wheelie Machine, the amazing MT Tour truck with exclusive MT apparel and accessories on display, a paddock for existing MT owners and much more.

Another display team, the madcap Purple Helmets, will be making their way to Edinburgh from the Isle of Man adding their own brand of stunt humour to proceedings.

There’s competitive action too in the form of Moped Mayhem and Scottish Supermoto demos as organisers look to make the most of facilities, both inside and out, at the RHC.

“We’ve gone to great lengths in our efforts to provide an all-round motorcycle weekend with interactive, live action taking place outside supplementing the usual excellent trade and club stands filling the halls,” said Nick Mowbray, exhibition manager.

A host of top dealers will be bringing the latest models from Honda, Suzuki, Victory, Indian, Yamaha, Kawasaki, Aprilia and Moto Guzzi along with autojumble plots offering all manner of machines and motorcycle parts and accessories.

The event will also welcome racing royalty, with Giacomo Agostini as star guest alongside one of Scotland’s own, three times TT winner Alex George.

“The show will celebrate all that is best about biking, from classic to modern and everything in between,” added Nick.

“We’ve even got Scottish indie-rock cover band Shardlake playing three separate hour-long sets each day of the show – the entertainment simply doesn’t stop.

“Whether it’s someone looking to fill their boots with biking bits or a family looking for a great day out, there really is something for everyone at the Carole Nash Great Scottish Bike Show.”